( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

- an amended version of that post that's been going round, having done a bit more research - yes, LJ is 'updating' it's Scrapbook. The fact that there's different info out on different parts of LJ's official news sources exemplifies the biggest problem with LJ for me - their communication is appalling and unprofessional in the extreme.

In fact paid account holders will still be able to hold on to their 10GB of space if they've paid for it - a paid account gives you 2GB which you can upgrade up to 10GB. Hence the confusion, I think. Permanent Accounts get 15GB as before; and it's still giong to be called Scrapbook. [Source]  (Tracing the threads linked to elsewhere this might actually be a backpedal on their part!)--

Dreamwidth doesn't have a scrapbook. But if it did, this wouldn't happen.

I feel so angry with LJ. All the crappy stuff they've done over the past few years has really helped to fragment communities I really liked being a part of. I just don't feel welcome there any more.
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Also available @dreamwidth

Encouraging everyone who hasn't done so already to go and have their say about Ao3 and the rest of the Organisation for Transformative Works:


I took the OTW Community Survey!

A mini ficlet for fragilespark , because she popped these two right back in my head again.

No Reset
by scribblemoose
Rating: Teen & Up
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Series: One-shot
Words: 310
Note: A mini-ficlet thing, because Irvine and Squall wanted to say something, and who am I to resist? Once an OTP, always an OTP.

( No Reset ) --
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I love, love, love that stage of writing a new story where it's all about scrapbooking and gathering notes and early drafting and making plans. I've just spent a happy afternoon setting up a Scrivener project for this year's paperlegends story. It has templates and notes and web pages and links! So shiny!

It's the part where everything is possible and nothing is ruled out, and you can imagine this brilliant story that's going to unfold from all these bits and pieces, even if you know that the actual story will probably end up completely different.

It's pure play and crayons and scissors and cutting out and colouring in, and I love it. ♥

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Does anyone know if there's any spoiler-free Merliny Tumblrs? I've been getting quite into Tumblr for the pretty lately, but I'm a total spoiler-avoider (even new characters, actors and costumes) so I'm getting a bit nervous as filming has started. But I neeeeed the pretty!

Any recs, anyone? Also if anyone knows any good landscape photography tumblrs, I love those too.

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There's been lots of kitty pictures on my f-lists today, and they really cheered me up. So I thought I'd return the favour.

This is Freya.


(click for bigger version)

Freya loves her little green sponge ball. It makes her happy. When she's happy she shows us all how very cute her tummy is.

♥



[Also available @Dreamwidth]

I was doing this compassion exercise the other day where you had to think of someone you had fuzzy-happy-safe feelings for and from. First impulse is The Man, yay, I win at marriage!

Then you have to do the same thing but with someone you don't know; someone who exists but that you only know of. So naturally, Colin Morgan springs to mind. (As he does on a regular basis, I know, shush.)

Then yesterday came this delightful interview with Colin in which he reveals that he cooks (not only that but he cooks because he likes to know where his food comes from, he's vegetarian and he has to work around dietary restrictions); he does yoga; he cares about wildlife and David Attenborough is his hero.

This all makes me extremely fangirly. God, Colin, how bloody nice can a person be?

(Also, it would appear I have a type. ^_^)

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Also available @dreamwidth

( personal stuff, feel free to skip )

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I stopped writing for two days over the weekend because I was busy, and it's taken me this first half of the week to get back into it again. This is conclusive proof that the least traumatic way for me to write is to get my arse in my desk chair and write every day, preferably for an hour at least.

Point me back here when I forget that again?

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Just finished S2 in my epic Merlin re-watch. Man, the Last Dragonlord never fails to stomp on my heart. Oh, Merlin.

I love that Leon is the first knight to step up when Arthur asks for his certain-death-mission volunteers. He truly earned his place at the round table with that single move. It's been odd, actually, watching those early episodes with all the red-shirt interchangeable knights. I miss Arthur's boys!

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ella_bane posted this yesterday and I can't stop staring at it. Oh, Merlin.



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Via fieryredqueen  and emungere 

First TV show I had self-insertion fantasies about:
It was a combination called 'The Persuaders at Large' which was a mad crossover between The Persuaders  and 'Doctors at Large'. The Sweeney was also occasionally involved. (I had a mad crush on Carter.) It evolved into a 'game' I played with my BFF (called 'TPAL') where we'd make up self-insert stories together, and that evolved eventually into my writing fanfic when we progressed into bandom.

First fandom in which I interacted (online and in person) with other fans:
Bay City Rollers, with my mates at school. There was no internet then, though, so I thought fandom was something the rest of the world had grown out of until I discovered Buffy fandom by accident on usenet. The forums were too scary for me to join in with, though - that came a few years later, with Final Fantasy VIII and shortly afterwards, Weiß Kreuz.

Pairing in the first slash fan fiction I read:
Apart from my own, Squall/Irvine/Zell, on Bishonenink. Good times. :)

First RPS/RPF I read:
It doesn't crop up much in anime/gaming fandom, but I did run into some tennis RPF around that time because it was written by someone whose writing I love so much I'd read the phone book if she wrote it. (Yes, louiselux , I'm looking at you...) I still have an uneasy relationship with it, though.

First fan fiction I read that made me think, YES, this is exactly the kind of fan fiction I'd like to write…
Llamajoy and Tenshi no Korin at BishonenInk. I hadn't written any fanfiction seriously for about twenty years, but I was head over heels for FF8 and reading their work inspired me to go for it again. But having said that, I didn't want to write exactly like them, of course - but to write fanfiction that was well-done, intelligent and hot - oh yeah. Very much so.

Pairing in the first fan fiction I wrote:
Excluding mary-sues and self-insertions, (which rules out pretty much all of my BCR stuff - although if I went back I would totally write Alan/Leslie/Woody) - Squall/Rinoa followed swiftly by Squall/Irvine and Squall/Irvine/Rinoa.

First OTP:
Squall/Irvine.

First RPS/F OTP:
Leslie/Woody. Although I didn't write it at the time.


First fannish friend I met in person:
genkischuldich /anotherworld . I couldn't have asked for a better first-meet up - I was terrified beforehand but had a great time, felt completely at ease within minutes and there was much squee! (In fact, that meeting led, eventually, to the foundation of Squeefest, so was monumental indeed!) There's been many meetings since, and although I still get nervous it's a wonderful thing. I've made so many friends through fandom I can't count them any more, and some of them have become dear beyond words.

First character I formally role-played/cosplayed:
I haven't formally roleplayed in fandom, although some of the writing [Unknown LJ tag]

Thanks for the support and advice yesterday, guys - it was very welcome, I was terrified! It does seem like an ocular migraine - I didn't get a headache yesterday but today I feel washed out and useless like I used to after migraines. I will be checking it out with my optician as I really need to look after my eyes, and I'm seeing my balance physio on Monday so I'll mention it to her too. I wanted to reply to everyone individually but I feel pretty shite and it's probably a good idea if I don't spend too long on the computer today. Thankfully work only consists of one short face to face meeting! I'll be honest - I feel really low. One of my biggest fears is that my balance problem will prove to be a precursor to MS or some other kind of progressive disease and I'll end up incapable and alone. And this is one more thing on the heap of stress and anxiety I already have over Ste, our lack of money, balancing work with our limitations... So it's a struggle. Hoping I'll feel better after some rest and whatever coping strategies I can fling at myself. Thanks again, folks. --
Also available @dreamwidth

Bloody hell, just had a really weird thing happen with my eyes. Working away (yes! Honest!) and got this freaky kaleidoscopy-jagged-lights thing going on to the right of my vision. Stayed whether I shut one eye, both eyes, whatever. After a few minutes I got so terrified I burst into tears. Seems to have gone now.

O.O

What the everloving fuck was that?!!

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Also available @dreamwidth

As it's Valentine's Day it seems the perfect occasion to share this picture.

It was a Christmas gift from the lovely isabeau_gower, a treat I haven't been able to afford for a long time - a commission from the highly-talented artist and writer, plnunn of BishonenWorks.   

Of course, I had to pick chibis.

Enjoy, my friends. ♥



Click on the pic for the huge HD version.

Thank you so much, Isabeau. ♥

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Also available @dreamwidth

Last month's Merlin calendar picture was Merlin. I looked at it all the time.

I just realised it's nearly half way through February and I've hardly glanced at the calendar at all.

Sorry, Lancelot. You're as gorgeously handsome as always, but I guess I'm just a Merlin girl through and through. ♥

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Writing is a bit of a stop-start affair at the moment. I wish I could settle back into writing every day. There's really no obstacle but my own head. Unfortunately my own head can be extremely stubborn.

Also available @dreamwidth

I've got actual computer glasses now. This is way too middle-aged for my liking. At least I don't have reading glasses yet. But still.

On the plus side, I can see my laptop without hunching over it like some kind of demented goblin. I'm sure my spine will be grateful.

It has snowed. I'm not sure I approve. I was thinking we might get away without any big freezes this year. But the Man opened the door to go to his friend's house, took one look at the amount of snow on the car and changed his mind. He is moderately intrepid, so this says a great deal.

Brr.

I'm really enjoying knitting! I've nearly finished a shawl for my Mum. This is handy as while I knit the last few patterns it spreads out on my knees and keeps me toasty warm. This bodes well!

Writing has been difficult of late - every time I get into the swing of it some life event happens and distracts me. I would like to cultivate a mindset that writes through drama. Anyone know how to grow one of those?

Because I remain optimistic and really want to write some more about Ferrets, I signed up for paperlegends. I promised myself I wouldn't do any more writing challenges, because of obligations, deadlines etc., but this challenge is a personal one, just for me. Besides, how could I resist? The schedule really suits me, it's always really well-run and it's a very supportive community.

So if you fancy writing 30k+ of Merlin fic (any pairing, any genre!) go take a look.



Also available @dreamwidth

I've always been a to-do list kind of person. I have a memory like a seive and a brain that likes to go for the shiny (except when it's sulking in a corner and refusing to do anything at all). I like routines and systems and plans, even though this crazy universe we live in will, I know, do its damndest to confound whatever intricate scheme I put together.

I've tried many methods of wrangling to-do lists. I'm currently using Toodledo, for longer-range planning, and a bit of scrap paper for a daily list. For most of the last ten years I've managed to do, on average, no more than half of any one day's list. It's a source of disappointment and discouragement: rather than seeing what I've done I always get the feeling that I failed to do what I set out to do. However much I tried to break things down into smaller tasks, to be more realistic, it was always the same. And it always seemed to be the same things stuck on the bottom of the list, too. Mocking me, with their little unticked boxes.

Then Things Happened, and I learned some things about myself and the way my mind works (or doesn't!) and I've been trying to do thinkgs differently. To lower my expectations of myself, to curb my perfectionism, to be mindful, to focus more and stress less.

Today I had quite a challenging to-do list, and I was prepared to have a few things unticked at the end of the day. But to my surprise, I did them all.

Which might not exactly be a huge achievement on the scale of things, but I'm very happy about it. Not because I did so much - but because I feel I'm finally getting a realistic idea of what it's reasonable to ask of myself.

So, yay me. ♥

How was your day?

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I've had a real hankering lately to take up knitting again. I was a fanatical knitter from the age of 10 until I took on a full time job seventeen years ago, and like so many things that are good for the soul, it fell by the wayside in the interests of capitalism. Boo!

I'm all excited. Technology has developed somewhat since I last picked up the needles; it's so easy to find patterns and tips and things. And there's so much pretty yarn to choose from!

Any other knitters out there? Thanks to puddingcat 's encouragement I've joined Ravelry. (If you want to friend me over there I'm scribblemoose, as usual.)

I suspect this is going to prove very entertaining for the cats....

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I often forget how easily a brain can rewrite history. Mine does it all the time. It's not just that I'm forgetful (although I am), but every mood or emotion colours the past, picks out specific things and re-interprets events in a certain light. So when I'm happy, the bad stuff gets brushed away and filed under 'triumphed over'; the good stuff is stunningly back-lit and soul-warmingly joyful - and terrifying, because we all know the light can't burn that bright forever.

When I'm anxious, everything is bleak and scary; when I'm depressed, the past is painted inky-black, nothing but a succession of strife and failure. I think the trick to coping is to keep the colours mixed; to keep each stream present and alive, not swamped by the others. But it's not easy.

The cruel thing is, when I need the comfort of the good times most, they're gone.

And this is just one reason why keeping a journal is a really, really good idea.

--

Well, that's my pretentious Thought For The Day. How's your weekend shaping up?

Also available @dreamwidth

Happy Birthday, Colin, you gorgeous thing. ♥




[first encountered on a_shot_of_colin; source]

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I admit I found it quite hard to let go of 2011. Unlike many people I had a good year. It was immensely challenging in places and brought about big changes in my life, but they were good, positive changes, very welcome new beginnings.

My hope for 2012 is really the chance to consolidate those changes and build on them in the way Ste and I have planned. You never know what's coming, though, so I still don't look too far ahead or place too much emphasis on the future.

The present, today, is making me very happy. A comfortable home, happy snoozing cats and a loving husband. Kind, thoughtful friends.

I'll post more about my hiatus another time, but I have made a few changes to the way I want to use my journal. The key changes are on my profile if you're interested.

Oh, and I dyed my default icon blue to match my layouts. I didn't want to give up the image I've had since 2003, but I fancied a change. I'm pleased with it!

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